It’s like a monster that holds you back


I suffer from mild depression and anxiety. My anxiety mainly takes form in panic attacks, they can happen a few times a week to once every few weeks. With depression, it's so different to simply feeling sad. There's often a spiral of downward 'low' emotions that feel out of my control. It's knowing that you should be doing something, be going out to work, or even something simple like a walk but can't bear to face any of that. It's like a monster that holds you back. 

I used to binge eat and drink a lot as a coping mechanism and that's obviously unhealthy so I've stopped. Now I understand that social interaction is really important for me, so if I'm having a difficult moment, I let my friends and partner know and then make an effort to do something with them. Simply being around people that love and care about you is really important if you have that. I also like to write down what I'm feeling at any given moment when I'm struggling. It helps me visualise what's really happening and how I can change it too. 

If you’re struggling with mental health difficulties then please seek help. Help is out there. Do what's best for you, you have to be selfish sometimes to look after yourself in the long run. Even while I was self-medicating through writing, I was still falling into a deeper depression. It took my mentor and partner at the time to really push me to get the help that I needed. Tell people that are close to you how you're really feeling - they care.